Many people often mistake HR as being an "administrative" role, a role that any person can easily play. Being a HR practitioner myself, even I sometimes forget how challenging it is to balance delicate human relations. We, HR practitioners, are not merely "administrators", we are not just "recruiters", nor are we just the ones "computing your monthly salary and bonuses". We play an integral role to take care of people in an organisation, and I always believed that to succeed in this field, it takes a strong passion for people, empathy, professionalism, and being able to treat each and every staff with respect and dignity. And that, is who I want to be.
I just had a horrific experience with J, a self-proclaimed HR practitioner with 20 years of corporate HR experience and who in the past few years, went into head-hunting.
Our first encounter was already, well, no where near pleasant. When she interviewed me a couple of weeks ago (first screening interview for her clients), she put me down continuously, using words like "superficial", "not-there-yet", "very weak" to describe me. She felt I was a weak candidate and said that even if she forwarded my resume to her client for that particular managerial position, she told me not to have high expectations of being shortlisted as her client was looking for someone "strong". She then suggested that she also forward my resume to another client who was looking for an HR Executive as she felt I was more suited for that level.
After that ego-bruising interview, I made a mental note not to pursue this opportunity as I did not think J was very professional. (Well, actually, I really did not like the way she "bashed" me like she did). On hindsight, I should have stuck by my decision then. However, being the sucker that I am, I quickly forgot how she treated me and jumped for joy when she called me a few days later to tell me that both her clients wanted to meet me.
Amazingly, I aced both interviews, proceeded successfully to the next rounds, and scored offers from both companies. At this point, J was treating me quite differently, calling me her "friend", buying me tea, telling me now that I was "bright" and "will succeed". Mmm. Knowing that I had been attending other interviews as well, J really put on the pressure for me to commit to her job offers. She called me at least twice each day asking if I had made my decision. On the 3rd day, I decided to accept one of her offers as I thought that was my favourite offer till date and I did not want to drag on, lest the company think I am not keen to join them.
As fate would have it, I received my best offer yet, one day after I verbally accepted J's offer. This role is somewhat different from what I had done previously, with regional exposure, great benefits, and importantly, paid significantly more than the offer I had accepted the day before. After much thought and discussion with my family (and also one sleepless night), I decided to withdraw my acceptance from J's client and take this new offer instead.
Now, at this point, I have to admit, it really is unethical and wrong for me to go back on my word, but look, I have been through 3 different jobs in the past 2 years, so, really, do I want to make another mistake just because of timing technicalities? Would I want to short-change myself just to keep my word and lose the opportunity for professional and financial growth? Tough as it was, I decided to stick by my final choice.
When J heard the bad news, she screamed at me "How can you be so immature? So undecisive and unprofessional! You have no integrity at all! By doing this, you will leave a very bad name for yourself. The HR circle in Singapore is very small, and I know a lot of people. Don't think word won't go around. Anyway, if you take up the other offer, you better make sure you work until hunch-back also you tahan because you cannot afford to fail. If you fail, don't expect me to help you and also, don't expect to find your next job easily with your reputation!"
I was totally taken aback by her threats. Whilst I understand her disappointment and anger, I did not expect such threats to be coming out from a seasoned "HR Practitioner" like herself. I was very tempted to reply "Yes, J, I'm sorry that I made you lose your commission, but look, as you said, the HR circle is not big, and I don't think your behaviour can be labelled as "professional" too!" But instead of saying that, all I managed was a feeble "I'm truly sorry, but I just want to choose the job with the best fit to my expectations in terms of personal and professional development."
J hung up without saying goodbye.
This conversation took place this morning, and till now, I still feel really uneasy and somewhat guilty. Did I do wrong? Have I really ruined my reputation in the market? Is that important? Maybe not, not when I know that I have chosen a job with growth opportunities and a reasonable amount of money, and most importantly, knowing that my husband, my dad, and brother are all brimming with joy about my new job. (Mum is in Australia, but I'm sure she will be thrilled as well). What could be more important than the sentiments of your loved ones?
Now. All that remains for me to do......is move on.
Daddy's girl
My folks
Ah Boy Brandon
Watercress soup boiled with wolfberry, dates, and bones (please pardon that layer of oil that I had not skimmed off before taking the photo)
Then, I was a chubby tomboy while Isabelle was a sweet young thing with amazing dimples. 
Now, I have happily shed the tomboy image, lost 7kg worth of baby fat, while Isabelle is still the sweet young thing (This woman really doesn't age!) 
